A baby shower is designed to shower love on a new arrival. But for the older sibling in the room, it can feel like suddenly being invisible. Parents don’t expect guests to bring a gift for the big brother or sister, yet a small, thoughtful item can make a huge difference.
Let’s explore the sibling gifts at baby shower etiquette to keep all kids happy!
Key Takeaways
- The verdict: Buying a gift for the older sibling is not required for most guests. But it is strongly encouraged for close family members such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
- The reason: A small baby shower gift acts as a “transitional object” during an event that focuses almost entirely on the new baby. It acknowledges the older child’s role and helps reduce jealousy or behavioral regression.
- The budget: Keep it small. Gifts under $20, such as coloring books, “Big Brother/Big Sister” T-shirts, or matching accessories, are the most effective.
- The strategy: Use gifts either as a distraction to keep the child busy during the party. They can also act as an inclusion to help the child feel like part of the team.
The Big Question: Is a Sibling Gift Mandatory?
Do you buy a gift for the older sibling at a baby shower? Bringing a gift for the older sibling to a baby shower is not mandatory. The primary purpose of the event is to support the parents-to-be and the new baby.
However, it is considered a thoughtful, “above and beyond” gesture, especially if you are close to the family, such as a grandparent or aunt).
If the older sibling is a toddler (ages 2–4), a small gift can go a long way in clearing their confusion and jealousy. At this age, they often struggle to understand what the event is really about.
Is it rude not to bring a gift for the older sibling?
It is never rude to attend a baby shower without a gift for the older sibling. Parents do not expect it.
That said, showing up with a small item, even a $5 sticker book, sets you apart as a guest who understands family dynamics. It signals that you care about the entire family’s transition, not just the newborn.
The Psychology: Why "Big Kid" Gifts Matter
For toddlers and young children, a baby shower can feel confusing and even threatening. All attention suddenly shifts to an invisible “rival.”
A gift for the older sibling serves as psychological validation. It tells the child, “You are still seen, and you still matter.” Gifts for second baby shower etiquette can prevent public meltdowns or behavioral regression during the party itself.
How to prevent sibling jealousy at a baby shower?
Jealousy grows from exclusion. When a new baby arrives, they require more attention and care from parents. The older child, at this point, tends to act out to draw parents’ attention. This is regression resulting from the feeling of exclusion.
To prevent it, involve the older sibling in the process, and a small gift can make this transition less overwhelmed. A gift labeled “For Big Brother” or “For Big Sister” gives the child a new title and responsibility.
Another effective approach is letting the child help “open gifts” for the baby. This moment transforms them from a passive observer into an active participant in the celebration.
This approach is central to how to include older siblings in baby shower planning in a thoughtful way.
Top Gift Categories for Big Brothers & Sisters
Effective big sibling gifts for hospital or shower settings typically fall into three categories:
- Distraction: Items that keep the child occupied during boring parts of the party
- Inclusion: Items that celebrate the child’s new status
- Bonding: Items that connect the child with the new baby.
Choose the category based on the child’s age and the setting of the event.
The "Distraction" Gifts (For the Party)
These are lifesavers for parents during the event. Think low-mess, high-engagement items, like sticker books, water-based coloring books (like Water Wow), or small LEGO sets.
They keep toddlers and preschoolers quiet and happy while mom opens a mountain of diaper boxes. Still, remember that these gifts should fall somewhere between $15-$20.
The "Inclusion" Gifts (For the Title)
These gifts focus on pride. “Big Brother” or “Big Sister” T-shirts, personalized capes, or books about becoming a sibling help the child visualize their new role. These gifts are best given before the party starts, so the child can wear them and show them off to guests.
The "Bonding" Gifts (Matching & Connection)
Bonding gifts help bridge the gap between siblings. One effective strategy is matching items.
For example, a SwaddleAN bamboo swaddle blanket for a toddler can act as a soft “superhero cape” or comfort item that matches the baby’s swaddle. This creates a “kids team” mindset rather than a “baby versus me” dynamic.
Or, consider SwaddleAN matching footies for siblings (We offer sizes from newborn to 2 years old). Matching outfits are perfect for memorable photos while reminding the big sibling that “We’re always family.”
“I didn’t know a big sibling meltdown could be solved that easily with a blanket. My 2-year-old son got a matching blanket with his little brother’s at the shower. And since then, he’s enjoyed playing superhero with that blanket cape, running around the crib and lisping ‘I’ll brotect my brother’.”
Presentation Etiquette: When and How to Give
The right timing prevents tears. If the gift is meant as a distraction, give it as soon as you arrive.
If it is a special keepsake, it is best given privately or allowed to be opened while the mom opens a larger baby gift. This parallel activity reduces feelings of exclusion during the main event.
Should the sibling open gifts at the shower?
Yes, the sibling can open gifts at the shower but with guidance. If you bring a gift specifically for the child, let them open it publicly. It is their moment to shine.
For baby gifts, ask the host if the older sibling wants to become the “Chief Gift Opener.” Most toddlers enjoy tearing wrapping paper more than the gifts themselves, instantly escaping boredom.
Pro-mom Tip
Always keep a backup bag of small candies or toys on hand if you are the host, just in case a meltdown needs to be defused.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, sibling gifts at baby shower etiquette are tools of kindness. They do not need to be extravagant. They simply need to say, “Welcome to the club, Big Kid.”
Preparing the whole family for a new arrival? Shop SwaddleAN’s ultra-soft bamboo swaddle blankets now! They’re perfect for wrapping a newborn and comforting a brand-new Big Brother or Big Sister. Start building their bond today!
